I'm concerned....

Let me tell you what I am concerned about. Posting. I don't really understand why no one takes the time to post on this blog besides me. I guess I miss hearing about everyone else's lives. I mean, you guys know all about me, me, me because I keep this so updated but I haven't heard enough about everyone else. Just post me a comment about what "stirs your affections for God", what book you've read recently, or what news story you are covering, or what Greek word you may or may not be studying. Thank you for your time and your attention.

Stay classy Knoxville.

Okay so..

Let me tell you about my prize possession. My car. I could list pages and pages of all the weird things it does but I'm here to just tell you about one.

I have a leak in my car. Every time it rains my floorboard is soppy wet. Its really fun when it rains hard enough and there is an actual puddle. When you go up a hill the water splashes backwards and when the go down a hill just the opposite. I'm probably not the first one to notice this but it has rained a lot these past couple of days. So last night when I parked in the garage I cracked my windows so when I had to drive it today it wouldn't smell like wet dog. Which happens a lot because I forget to or I am parked outside and I can't. So I am kind of frustrated when I am getting into my car today because I can't find my shoes. So I get in and turn to look in the back seat for my shoes. There is a huge spider web hanging between my two front seats. If you don't know me, I am terrified of spiders. I scream and jump out of my car as quick as possible. To make things worse, my dad isn't home. So where is my prince to rescue me from this horrible monster? No where to be found. So as I'm pacing the garage (more like jumping around making sure there aren't any spiders on me) I decide that I have to get it out myself. EW EW EW. I find a folder in my car and get it out. But the whole way to moms house I could have sworn there were tons of spiders crawling all over me. Now I guess I will not be cracking my windows every time it rains. Wet dog or spiders? I would take wet dog any day!

Role call!

Short story to share before I get back to my oodles and becoodles of homework.

Hopefully you have seen Bring it On. I used to be really obsessed with that movie probably until 6th grade when I tried out for the cheerleading team...and didn't make it. Ha

Friday evening I had to go to a recital at UT so that I could write a review about it for Music Appreciation. This kid from my class was supposed to go with me but cancelled last minute. So then Mom was going to go with me but then she remembered that she had a meeting to go to. So I was looking through my phone at all the possibilities and I couldn't think of someone that wasn't busy or wouldn't want to shoot themselves if they came with. So number one you should be proud of me for going by myself because I usually need a wing man just go to the grocery store. Anyway, when I got there I found my seat (by myself) and got out my paper to take notes. There were quite a few people there but everyone was pretty spread out. As I watched the crowd I realized that pretty much everyone knew each other. Band geeks. Right before the recital started a guy sat in the seat right behind me. So as the music started and kept going I was taking notes. Paranoid me couldn't help but think that this guy was starring at what I was writing. I started thinking about in Bring it On when the two cheerleaders go to the other school to see the Clovers cheer at a basketball game.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU7eDWecfFc&feature=PlayList&p=0D8B4265ACF1B7DF&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=4
So what I kept thinking was going happen was when I got up to leave I was going to be followed out to the parking lot and asked to had over my notes because obviously I was there stealing all the musical ideas to take back to my school.

Band geek #1: Hand it over!
Me: What are you talking about?
Band geek #2: The notes you were taking so that you can copy our performance.
Me: That's not what I was doing. I have to write a paper for class.
Band geek #3: Sure sure. We have seen your friends down here every week trying to steal what we got. Who do you think came up with Trumpet Cantata in B flat minor? Huh?! Not your lame school.
Me: Woah woah woah! I really wasn't stealing anything.
Band geek #1: Whatever! Just don't let us catch you here again.

It played out a little more dramatic in my head than I can actually explain but walking to my car was pretty scary. Luckily I made it.

The End.

Hate to see you leave...

but I'd love to watch you go.

Yes, that line is still being used. Or at least at Walters State it is. That should tell you something.

Movie character analysis papers are not fun. I already have a hard time describing things so how much harder will it be to describe a movie. Actually it will be easier than I think. That is when I actually start working on it. It's the last paper of the semester and hopefully of my life.

12 more classes and finals! I'm so looking forward to summer. All the trips, all the relaxing and refreshing, all that God is going to do. Yep, can't wait.

Question.

What is there to do at 1 o'clock in the morning? I bet there are plenty of answers. I was babysitting. This women had to take a guy out that was visiting from somewhere. He is someone special that has to do with whoever she works for. The details are obviously not important. I don't know about you but if I had to get up at 6 A.M. I would not be stumbling in at 1 A.M. Thats just me. I like to sleep.

This post is not actually about the wee hours in the morning. While I was babysitting I was thinking a lot. And maybe its because I'm a girl or maybe is just cause but I just couldn't help but think about I how I can't wait for the day that I'm taking my kids to the park and I'm tucking my kids into bed and how I get to go to sleep in my house with my husband and my family. Yeah, that's what I came up with in 4 hours of free time. Ramsey said the other day that he feels sorry for the guy that is going to marry me. Haha I love my brother. He is precious.

The real question is why in the world am I awake?

Time to celebrate!

Today is "National Stress Awareness Day" or "National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day". Pretty exciting, huh?

How do I know this? Well my music teacher told us. Why? Who knows. I feel really sorry for him because he is so into what he is teaching and I'm pretty sure no one listens to him. Nothing I learn in that class is going to change my life. At least I don't think so. I have a friend that every time she tells a story she wants to tell it to where you will feel like you were there. Like you were involved and you will feel the exact feelings she had at the time. I think that's really cool. Until you have a teacher who does the exact thing except you don't want to know the feelings he had when he read about Giacomo Puccini or Peter Tchaikovsky. Not that I don't like music. Actually today I was thinking that it would be fun to go to a symphony or a ballet and without a lot of composers, we wouldn't have either of those things. But I guess I'm just tired of school. Just to clarify that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep going to school. Don't tell me step dad I said I'm tired. Ha ha. I really just laughed way too hard and you are probably confused. Either way, I love life. Really.

Today I was listening to this girl and guys conversation behind me and I jumped in because I thought I had something that might help. They just looked at me like I was stupid. If you are Chuck then you probably are laughing or not. I do that too much. Nah. Not enough.

Just a question. On stress awareness day are you supposed to just be aware that you are stressed? Because they didn't say anything about helping you not be stressed. Oh well.

I love you guys!

You know those days...

you sit around and ask yourself I wonder what Virginia and Hannah Steinbach's relationship consists of. Fear no longer. I'm going to tell you. There are three important things that keep us together.
1) Eating
2) Watching movies
3) Sleeping
Yes. It is a pretty complicated friendship. I'm telling you this because I want to share an amazing picture. Today Hannah came over and we tried to decide what movie to watch but we have already seen the 4 I own way too many times. So the next thought would be to go to moms house and try to find a movie to watch On Demand. We arrive at mothers and Dennis is sitting on the couch watching Locked Up Abroad or something just as interesting. I thought he was going to work but he would not leave. (Not that I wanted him to...) So we decide we will cook dinner for mom. We are obviously great cooks. So we look online for a new recipe to try. No luck. We default to our normal meal of making a pizza. Just a side note here, Hannah and I make some AMAZING pizza. Back to the story. After all our hard work of preparing the meal we are exhausted. I lay down on my bed and Hannah lays down...on my desk.


She is just precious!
Love you all!

Make up your mind already!

I don't like this weather. At all. The warm one day, cold the next kind. Boo. It is lame. Just pick one side of the fence and stay there. Preferably the warm one.

This is what I'm reading at the moment and I like it. So I thought I would share.

Romans:
9 Love must be sincere (genuine, without hypocrisy). Hate (abhor, loathe) what is evil (wicked, bad). Cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful (rejoice, be glad, delighted) in hope (expectation), patient (to stand firm, endure, persevere) in affliction (trouble, distress, oppression), faithful (to join, adhere to, to be ready, to give attention to) in prayer.

I don't believe in sleeping anymore.

Well I finally "fireproofed" my marriage. I don't know about you but that really is a good movie. The part that I love is that Caleb was totally totally way messed up. It was all about him and how his wife couldn't respect him. And even after he did so much for her, it was still about him and how she wasn't thankful for anything he did. Finally Caleb and his Dad are talking when he is half way through his love dare and Caleb is ready to give up and says, "How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me?" Wow. He ends up getting it. He completely surrenders his life to God and it changes everything. I've heard people say it before that love changes everything. How true is that?

I'm going to allocate my request

I don't know why but recently I have been pretty crazy about big words. I don't use them very often and on the occasion that I do use them it is probably in the wrong context. Anyway, if we just capitulate to Jesus then everything will be great. Ha ha. That was for Chuck and Sarah and whoever knows what I'm talking about.

Sorry I'm the worst blogger ever. I could have predicted that I would be a slacker with updating. But I do check every ones all the time.

The point of this post is to ask you guys to pray. I have two friends that are most likely coming to church on Wednesday. I'm more nervous about one than the other but either way I know it will be awesome if they can come. I know both of them from when I went to Bearden. I have more of a past with one of them. Janelle and I got involved with a lot of the same stuff together and just did some stupid stuff. I get freaked out when I know that we are going to have to talk about the past and how she can throw it in my face all the things we have done but I was reminded that the cool thing is that Jesus changed me. It is because of Jesus that I'm not into those things anymore. And all the forgiveness stuff, well Jesus is the reason for that too.

Recently I have been able to talk to some people and just be honest and in doing that God opened doors to things that I have never imagined. In being honest with these people it has helped me to start fixing my relationships that are just messed up with other people. Quick example. The other day me and mom were driving down to Chattanooga and we talked about some hard stuff but its helped to start the fixing process. And its just really exciting.

I wish I had a funny story. But I don't. I love all of you guys though!!!

Note to self.

Learn how to change a flat tire.

Yesterday I had big plans of washing my car and hanging out at the church. I woke up and got ready and drove out of my driveway only to have to turn around. I had a flat tire and I was home alone. I called dad and he said he could be home in about two hours. Oh joy. So I decided I would clean my half of the house.

I have cleaning ADD. It happens every time I try to clean. I will start with hanging up all my clothes and then I will notice that my dresser is really messy. About half way through fixing that problem I walk into another room and realize that there is dust an inch thick on my bed side table but in this same room there are papers that I just need to throw away. So I have to walk to the kitchen to get a trash bag. Then I see the vacuum cleaner. This is my favorite part of cleaning. I can actually finish this job. But this means I have to pick everything up off the floor.

While cleaning I found this box I made when I think I was 10 or 11. Somewhere around there. On it was written "DON'T OPEN UNTIL AGE 21." So of course I opened it. I remember putting things in there that were important to me at the time. Well I start looking through it and the first thing I pull out are pieces of cloth. Hmm...that's important. There are some pictures and beads and ribbon. I'm so glad that those were saved. Finally I found some papers that had names written on them. They were the names I had picked out for my kids. My future kids. They were weird. For one of the guys I had Jimmy. I'm sorry. If I ever name my kid Jimmy please don't let me. Anyway, it was fun seeing how things that were so important to me at that age don't really mean anything at all anymore. I wonder what I have right now that I hold on to that won't mean much in a couple years.

Pretend this is a comment.

Okay. I was going to comment Chuck's blog but my computer is retarded but I know I need to apologize about being a leader and follower of what he is talking about. I'm good at making fun of other people to make myself feel better or comfortable or whatever. So thanks Chuck for stepping up.

Heather: You are not a loser. You are beautiful.
Dave: I will turn the other cheek.

You know what sucks?

When you only have 6 channels. So every time there is a national something of importance it is on every channel. It's really not that big of a deal but tonight is the night The Biggest Loser is on. That's pretty much the only show I really watch. So I only got to watch an hour of it. So what is there to do with the second hour? I guess update my blog. There's a lot and not a lot that's going on. With church there is a lot. With school, not a lot. But I'm pretty sure this post will be way random. I have a couple things that I have been thinking about lately and none of them are of much importance but I will still share.

If I was at wherever Obama was speaking I would refuse to keep standing up and clapping. I guess it's like a courtesy applause or something.

In class on Monday I guess everyone was looking really bored and not paying attention so my teacher was trying to think of something to get us excited about learning. He said that he was going to bring in some "hoochie coochie dancers". Yes, he actually said that. The he looked at us and said don't worry they will be both genders so you can all be entertained.

Then today I'm pretty sure my calculus teacher was speaking in tongues. I kept looking around the room for an interpreter but he/she wasn't there. So I guess God doesn't want me to go back to that class.

Time. Where the heck does it go? Every time Dad and I eat breakfast together we always talk about how nice it would be to just spend a couple hours sitting there drinking coffee starring out our french doors. Maybe it doesn't sound too exciting to you but I would love it. But there is never enough time in the day to do it. Also I have been thinking a lot about how things change so fast. Think about where you were last year at this time. Now think about where you were last month. Maybe its just me. Not only have I changed in the past year but even in the past month and somewhat this past week. Things like people I talk to, things that are important to me, what I want in life, what I want for my future, and so on.

America. America. America. What is this country coming to? I'm not talking about politics. I'm talking about obesity. I could go on talking about this forever. But this is just something that bothers me. Restaurants aren't just serving bigger sandwiches but now they have turned to unlimited things. Like Olive Gardens never ending bowl of pasta. Red Lobsters endless shrimp. Tennessee is ranked 3rd highest in obesity rates in the U.S. That's good right? At least we are number one in something. The people that read this blog aren't fat at all and I'm not trying to be like stop eating. It is just something that bothers me. And I guess I'm somewhat of a hypocrite they way I talk about this. I like to eat. And sometimes I like to eat way too much. But maybe I can help some people in the future. We will see.

I'm super pumped about this weekend. Its going to be amazing!

Well that is about all I can think of. Hope everyone is having a great week!

FYI

If I was still in high school I can almost 100% guarantee you that I would have skipped school today. But luckily I am in college and I get out at 11 on some days so I don't even have to think about skipping school.

BUT if my middle name wasn't Ellen I'm pretty sure it would be Procrastinator. I will admit it. I procrastinate like crazy and it drives me crazy but not crazy enough to do something about it. I have a paper due tomorrow. Not a hard one but it's a paper either way. Today I have done everything imaginable except write a paper.

A lot of the times that's how it is with God and me. He will tell me something but I decide that I like my idea better. And my idea usually isn't anything bad just not what He wants. Just like today I did a lot of good things, things that I needed to get done and also things I very much enjoyed. But the thing is I couldn't enjoy them all the way because every time I was in the middle of something I would think about my paper and it would make whatever I was doing less enjoyable because I knew eventually the paper was going to have to be done. I procrastinate with God. I know if I had gotten my paper done earlier today it would made things 10 times better and easier. If I did what God asked right off the bat then things would be so much better.

I've realized that I use the same words over and over again.

Loooove!

Laura and I went to Walmart today. We were talking about all the Valentines stuff and blah blah blah. So I got to thinking about it and I remembered this one Vday waaaay back in 4th grade. This kid named Cody Jerger brought me a dozen roses and one of those big hearts of chocolate. You might think awww. I didn't think so. I was so mad. I'm pretty sure I threw away the flowers when I got home and I really don't think I ate the chocolate. I guess I wasn't really a girl back then. And then one time, I guess it was in middle school, Ryan Martin (bless his heart) bought me this freaky looking china glass doll. I think there was a camera in it. But I guess my best experience was when I actually had a boyfriend on Valentines day one time and guess where he took me. Wendy's! How romantic. We didn't even eat there. It was the drive thru then home. I pick real winners.

All I have to say is I'm so glad God loves me. And that it's not cheap love or love that changes. Or something I have to perform for to get. I love it. I love, love. I love that God loves me even when I'm not very loving.

And here is the link to the website for the number one song the day you were born. http://www.joshhosler.biz/

Last time it snowed I posted a picture of a snowman. I'm embarrassed to have called that a snowman. But I am not embarrassed to show you a picture of what I did today. Hannah and I hiked, okay drove, to the top of the hill and built our wonderful snowman. I'm pretty sure I have frostbite but it was worth it! Some might choose to point out that one arm is longer than the other or even that the carrot is only a baby one so it kind of isn't in proportion to its rather large head. Either way I like it. After all of our hard work the bullies in the neighborhood drove by on their four wheeler and knocked it down. Oh well. I did enjoy laying around, drinking hot chocolate and watching movies today. Just how I wanted to spend a snow day. I hope everyone had a great day!

A couple things.

Number one. I am so thankful that God made me, me. All the good things and all the bad things that make me Virginia Ellen Rule, I am thankful for. Today I took my cousin Hannah to school. You would think oh its family, nothing to worry about. Wrong. I worry about her. A lot. The cool thing about today was that I had opportunities that I rarely ever get when I talk to her. It was really cool. I mean it wasn't life changing for her but it's a start.

Number two. I learned that knowing what accounting really is, is essential to making better decisions. So next time I can't decide if I should drink and drive I will remember everything that I have learned in accounting and I will make a better decision. That doesn't mean I will make the right one. Just a better one.

Number three. I wish it was 2017.

Guess what movie I watched.

If you said Lord of the Rings you would be correct. Specifically Two Towers. My favorite part of that movie would be the battle at Helms Deep. The way I like to look at it is that there are actually 3 different fights going on at one time. The main one at Helms Deep, the one with Sam and Frodo, and the one with the trees. They are all fighting totally different battles. They aren't even near any of the other battles but all three of them are important. All three of them effect or affect (whatever) the outcome of the movie. If any one of them had lost then the movie would have had a completely different ending. So when I place myself in the movie I like to see that yeah, we all have our own problems and "battles" but when you look at the big picture we are all fighting for the same thing. In the end the ring gets destroyed. We win!

But I think the most exciting part is when at Helms Deep it seems like the battle is over. Everyone has lost hope. Even King Theoden is ready to die. But genius Aragorn decides to take one last chance. He says lets ride out and face the evil. At this time the sun is rising. It's a new day. Then they remember what Gandalf had said. "Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east." And just like he had promised he was there with a huge army. There was still hope. Kind of like Heather posted about. It is a new day and there is still evil in this world but we have to ride out and face it. But we can also remember that there is hope. God promised to be there.

Maybe that doesn't make sense. But it kind of did to me.

It actually snowed enough...

To make a snowman! Sorry my photography skills aren't as good as Dave or Heather's but oh well. I'm going to be honest it was harder than I remember it being. My neck and back hurt from rolling all the snow but it was worth it.

Going back to this weekend I'm so glad that I got to experience it with all of you guys. I wouldn't want to have done it any other way.

You guys are smart!

I'm not going to dwell on the fact that Satan is there but I'm definitely not going to forget that he can and will try to knock me off balance. Or not even Satan but my "temptations" that dance around me. I'm glad that I have you guys to learn from.

I feel safe.

I feel safe when I am at church. I feel safe when I am at my house. I feel safe when I'm with my friends (all 2 of them). But I am dreading going to school tomorrow. It's one of those sick feelings. Maybe it is because I have to wake up really early. Or it could be because I suck at English. But I'm pretty sure it is because I was in this bubble for a couple of weeks and now I am stepping out of it. Obviously tonight was AWESOME and God is moving. People I usually get annoyed with didn't annoy me. I was able to talk to the girls and not get totally lost with what I was saying. Why was tonight different? Duh. We put all the focus on God. We prayed for tonight. We let God take control. So the moral of this story would be to make every night like tonight.

So the point I'm trying to make is that I am in a great mood but it would be so easy for me to go to school tomorrow and be a butthole and not care about what I am doing BUT I say no. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. There is a reason I am supposed to go to music appreciation, english, and calculus at Walters State Community College. And I'm not going to miss what God has in store for me tomorrow just because I want to have a bad attitude.

I love Stock Creek and the Jgenners and all the kids so much!

I'm stoked!

I cannot wait for Disciple Now! I am going to copy Sarah and say how thankful I am for Hannah, Hayley, and Sarah! God made something special when he made them. Haha. But seriously. I really learned a lot from all of them and I know that this weekend is going to be amazing!

Speaking of copying Sarah. Remember that one time that I prayed pretty much the same exact prayer right after you? I love when that happens.

I really enjoyed the sermon today. I want to desire what God wants with all of my heart. I want to go to another level. I want God to satisfy me completely.

Oh to be ten again...

"Pretend I can do this" "I have this power" "Watch me do this"

Conquering the world was just one imagination away. What it was like to be whoever and whatever you wanted. Why can't it still be like that?

Good times, good times

While it is flooding in Tennessee, it is blizzarding in Ohio. Okay, not a blizzard but it did snow. It is nice for a change.

We got here yesterday morning and something Hannah forgot to mention is that they are moving. Next week. So we are helping them pack everything. I want to go home. I tried to bribe dad's friend to come and pick me up with a Tennessee ticket but it didn't work.

Honestly, it isn't too bad at all. Last night after dinner they were all remenicing about their childhoods. This is the thing, the Steinbachs and Roberts both only have one volume level. Loud. Sometimes it gets a little hectic because they all want to tell their side of the story. But I really enjoyed it.

Another thing I have realized while being here is how good it is to have a Christian family. Not that the people in my family aren't Christians, but I am definitely taking notes on how my family (in the way future) will be raised diff. The familys I am with right now are very good at including God in almost everything they do.

Frustrating

That is the word for today.

I was frustrated because I really did not want Jessica to spend the night. I was frustrated because I really did not want to listen to her "boy" stories. I was frustrated because the Vols did not play well at all. I was frustrated because Dennis kept telling me what to do. I was frustrated because I did not feel like exercising. I was frustrated because after I did, I felt better and I really just wanted to complain. I was frustrated because I tried to look over the Disciple Now stuff and I really really wanted to learn something new but I could only sit there in frustration. I was frustrated because my house was freezing and I tried to shave my legs but the hair grew back the minute I was finished.

Finally, I was frustrated because when I got around to giving up God made everything better. I stopped fighting. I stopped trying to do things on my own. I stopped. God moved.

Father, dad, & step dads

It is a new year so I guess everyone is writing about what it means. Something I have always struggled with was having a good relationship with my mother. I held her responsible for a lot of things that happened. At times I hated her. This problem led to problems with my relationship with God. Somethimes I was close to letting go but I never really wanted to give up this hate. Over the past couple of weeks I have completely, 100% let go. I no longer hold a grudge and I refuse to let Satan use that to his advantage.

But I believe that all of this has happened for a reason. So I have been asking God to show me why certain people were put into my life. This is what I have come up with.

Charles: God always has a plan. Even when things look as though they can't get any better, they can and will. You can't change the way someone feels. Complaining doesn't help. Family is important. Friends are important. God is important. Church is important. Surrounding yourself with the right people is a good idea.

Ed: Control only works when it is God that is in control. Alchohol never helps anything. Lies always hurt worse when they are found out later than they should have been. Honesty.

Kevin: You can ask for help. Forgiveness is unlimited. Drugs never help anything. Living in someone elses shadow is not what you were meant to do. God has a plan.

Dennis: Crude and crass is not attractive. Waiting is worth it. There is a difference between saying you love God and actually loving God. If you add up your and your spouses divorces and it equals 6 then living together is better than getting married...not.

God: Even through all this mess, God made something beautiful. He is the only one who will not let you down. He doesn't need you but He wants you. When He says you are forgiven, you are forgiven. Everyday God has something new. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness are bigger than you think. Be thankful for what you have becuase at any second it can be taken away from you. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Also there are not just two choices when it comes to the out comes of relationships. There is such thing as unconditional love.

Obviously God has shown me so much more and I can't wait to see what else God has in store for me. 2009 is going to be the best year.